January is my time to catch up with folks. I’m incredibly busy in the fall with shows, so I have to do catching up. I’ve been seeing old friends quite a bit the last month.
I’ve had several careers since I’ve been in Maine and I have sets of friends from each one. The first group I saw were my academic friends. I have a Ph.D. in Applied Philosophy and used to teach Philosophy and Women’s Studies at the college level. Had a lovely lunch with them catching up. Left lunch with my wife, looked at her and said “I’m really glad I don’t have to do that academic type posturing anymore. It’s just so not my style.” Often in academia it seems to be about who knows who and who’s written what, who gets what grants and who makes what presentations, and it all stacks up in sheets of paperwork, diplomas, and standings. As someone who never taught at an institution where there was a degree program in my field and who had no interest in publishing, I was usually at the bottom of the standings.
When I lost the ability to teach professionally due to limited job options and a commitment to stay in the state, I’d taken the logical approach to finding a new career. Went to the career center, took their aptitude tests, and logically went through the list determining what was possible for a 40ish year old woman to retrain herself to do professionally. Computer programming came up on the short list; I’d done it before and it was okay, I could retrain myself in a reasonable short period of time. So I got myself certified and got myself a job. Worked with a lovely bunch of people in an organization that was going through a lot of changes. Bonded with my pack; disliked the new management style and direction. Was totally stressed in the job. It just didn’t fit my style. Ended up getting fired. But since I totally bonded with some of my peeps we get together occasionally.
So the week after our lunch with academic friends, we had dinner with a bunch of folks from the programming company. It was great to see them. Several in particular I miss frequently — like the woman I shared an office with for 4 years! I listened to them talk about their jobs (although many have left the old company, they’re still all programmers) and talked about what I was doing. We left the dinner, and I looked at my wife and said “I’m really glad I don’t have to do that anymore. I was so totally stressed doing that.”
Last weekend I went to the Fiber Spa in Freeport. I was giddy on the way down, as were the women I was riding with. Had a lovely morning spinning and talking. Shopped for fabulous fiber. Ogled creations other women had made. Touched fiber, talked, laughed, had a thoroughly enjoyable day. As I left with my wife, I looked at her and said “I’m SO GLAD I work in fiber!”
Sometimes we think we’ve suffered a great loss and it will never be the same. I was devastated when I lost the ability to teach at an academic level. I’d worked so hard for it, and I really did enjoy the teaching part. Now that it’s far away, I can look at the work and see how dissatisfied I was in some areas, and how it was not the best situation for me to be in. I always knew that programming was ‘just’ a job, not a vocation, but it still hurt when I got fired. But it gave me the opportunity to start my own business – nothing that I would have done if I’d had to quit, but definitely something to try rather than look for another job/career.
Now I’m so glad that it happened! I love the work I create. I love the fact that I can make something that is beautiful and useful. I love working in the fine yarn that I do – how it looks, how it feels, how it wears.
I’m so lucky to have friends, still, from other aspects of my life. But I’m luckier still to have found a life where I can have balance, where I can love all the things I do. I own my own business creating functional, artisanal art; I work part time for a non-profit that promotes vibrant downtown areas; I teach knitting classes. I get to do it all, and for that I am grateful.
